In the beginning, God created Adam and Eve and intended they be joined together as husband and wife: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Gen. 2:24; also Mark 10:6-9). Paul informs us that God’s intentions for the marriage relationship between husband and wife could be used as a picture of God’s intentions for the relationship between Jesus and His church (Eph. 5:23). In addition, God gave humans free will; then Satan entered the picture and he has been working to end God’s design for the marriage relationship ever since. Mal 2:16 says God hates divorce.
Additional Issues and Concerns
- Marriage is a spiritual covenant between God and the marriage partners and it is taken very seriously by God. God intended that there be only one marriage (Gen. 2:24, Mark 10:6-9). Godly soul ties are created through the covenant of marriage.
- Divorce is not within God’s original design and, therefore, He considers it sin. Spiritual laws are violated in the practice of divorce (Mat. 5:32).
- There are three easily-identifiable justifications for divorce within the scriptures: (1) adultery and fornication (Mat. 5:32), (2) an unbelieving spouse who leaves the relationship (1 Cor. 7:15) or a spouse who has been cheated on and has not sinned by divorcing the guilty spouse, is free to remarry without sin (Mat. 5:32), and (3) while abandonment or sexual sin on the part of either party is clear justification for divorce, other passages (such as 1 Cor. 7:2-5) suggest a spouse is not under bondage to stay married to a person who violates the vows of rendering due benevolence, that is those who have been physically or verbally abused.
- The issue—scripturally—is not “what was the reason for the divorce” but whether or not either spouse has sex with someone else after the divorce, which the scripture calls adultery (“whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery”—Mat. 5:32).
- When adultery happens, God’s “two shall become one flesh” plan (Gen. 2:24) becomes confused, polluted, and broken. When this plan is broken, it provides an entry point for the powers of darkness.
- Ecclesiastes 5:4-6 suggests that a curse of divorce may be set in motion by breaking a vow with God (and marriage is a vow).
- Deep wounds of rejection, anger, and abandonment may remain after the broken relationship.
- Soul ties remain between the couple until these are spiritually cut.
- The Good News is that God in heaven sent his Son Jesus to die on the cross for us so that we might be forgiven of every sin (Matt 12:31) (including divorce, sexual sin, or adultery by remarriage), washed clean by the blood of Jesus, and renewed in relationship to Him by the power of the Holy Spirit.
- The focus of healing from divorce should not be on trying to determine whether or not sin was committed through this experience but on asking for forgiveness where due and accepting the grace and forgiveness of our loving Father.
Prayer for Healing of Divorce
The seeker should follow these steps:
- Ask God’s forgiveness for your part in the divorce (it is seldom one-sided).
- Ask God’s forgiveness for any sexual sin that happened before or after the divorce.
- Ask God’s forgiveness for any sins because of remarriage.
- Healing from divorce requires total forgiveness of the former spouse.
- Pray that the part of you that remains with your spouse be loosed.
- Pray for inner healing for the feelings of rejection, anger, or abandonment.
- Pray to break the soul ties created by the former union with the sword of the Spirit.
- If the person is now unmarried, pray they can remain celibate so as not to commit sexual sin.
- If the person has remarried, pray God will recognize the current relationship as the original one designed in heaven with all the rights, privileges, and blessings of the two becoming one flesh covenant agreement.
- Pray God will bless the union and the family, in Jesus’ name.
Inner Healing Required
Notwithstanding the adultery questions involved here, there will almost always be a need for inner healing for feelings of anger, betrayal, abandonment, hate, bitterness, and rejection that may result from a divorce. More about inner healing can be found on the section “Healing of Hurts, Emotions and Memories”.